Hilarious Spam Extortion Attempts - Some Suggestions

by   Nicholas de Lioncourt on October 06 2021 12:41 zulu

For a few years, I have received email variations on this common spammed-attempt at extortion; and as I cheerfully delete each one, I muse to myself '...sure, yeah, you go ahead and do that - knock yourself out..."


Yet, considering the persistence of these mass-spammed messages over the years, I must assume there is some measure of success.

If I were asked for advice: ignore these messages, and understand that maintaining hyper-vigilant paranoia while using any network-connected device - whether wi-fi or wired rj-45; whether voice-activated remote or child's toy - is not conspiracy.

Your complacency exposes you. Yes, they are watching you. If surveillance is possible, your seemingly mundane life is valuable to some interested buyer - or the unseen predator.

Inventory every network-attached device (including tablets/phones). When not actively in use, disconnect the microphone and camera; or place black electrician's tape over the camera lens and microphone. On my laptop, I also disable these in the BIOS until needed - not the device manager. When unused, store voice-activated remotes in a location away from all conversation; even if only your children playing or you talking to yourself.

I have devoted my career to designing massive architectures and coding large systems; and I own no television with camera or microphone. I own no Amazon or Google devices; since these companies HAVE BEEN CAUGHT and have ADMITTED - many times - to surveilling & recording owners without their knowledge (no one questions why the services and devices they offer are so cheap; and often, free - consider that drug-dealers also offer great deals to addict customers).

After over 20-years, I still envision technology as the Roman two-faced Janus: one expression benevolent and helpful, the other one, malevolent and psychopathic.


Resuming the anonymous extortion attempt I mentioned:

I am often amused by script kiddies who think themselves 'L33T H@x0rz' after learning email or becoming '3-Chapter-Masters' in one of the high-level beginner's languages as JavaScript, PHP, or VB.Net. Fortunately, script-kiddies are constrained to mass-spam emails and browser pop-ups by their absence of talent and atrophied intelligence; so, they pose as much menace as an ill-tempered toy-dog.

In the message below, the sinister admonition, '...since this e-mail cannot be traced back...', is almost pathetic, even tragic. I have an entertaining story about my acceptance - perhaps nine-years ago - of a similar challenge and terrifying the over-confidant spammer by calling him at work and sending his printed spam messages to his home address. I also spoke to the employer of another moron who tried to hack a client's database. I should narrate those before time erases the memories.

In the following graphic, I present the original text of the extortion spam, and my colorful annotations; perhaps seeing this, some aspirational script-kiddie will concede vulnerable ignorance and choose another career:

Well, script-kiddie, I have shared your message; so, BROADCAST AWAY!


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